The 2023 Formula 1 Season is underway with pretty underwhelming races so far, barring the Australian Grand Prix. And in the three-week wait for the Azerbaijan Grand Prix (that I did not take very well), to stay sane, I started to make a list of (mostly delusional) predictions for this season and now, you have to read them.

1. Max Verstappen becomes a triple world champion and Red Bull wins the Constructors’ Championship.

YOU are delusional if you think otherwise. Nobody will challenge Max, not even Checo. Judging by Alonso’s consistency so far, I can’t be sure that Checo will end up second in the championship. Even with all the reduced wind tunnel time (Gordon Ramsay doesn’t come cheap friends), that frankly didn’t affect them one bit, the Red Bulls are dominating 2023. Where is everyone else? 

2. Fernando Alonso gets his 33rd race win (and maybe his 34th).

I just want to see his iconic celebration again. Man’s got moves on and off track. He deserves it after his traumatising run with McLaren and its Honda power unit in 2017. Wait. Isn’t Honda partnering with Aston Martin from 2026?

3. The McLarens continue to be shitboxes.

I hope they finish ahead of Williams and Alpha Tauri. Otherwise, it’s just sad. Poor Lando man. He Shouldn’t have signed until the end of 2025. At least he’ll finish ahead of his teammate Oscar Piastri. See, I know he’s the homeboy but the dude’s got ZERO personality! #Justice4DR3

4. Charles Leclerc finishes the season with fewer podiums than his brother Arthur Leclerc in F2.

By far my favourite prediction. I love Charles and want him to be a world champion someday, but the only functional strategist at Ferrari right now is their thirsty social media admin (we see you). Sorry Charles, you're going to have to wait for a while.

5. Daniel Ricciardo flourishes in his TIkTok Era.

Now that there’s not much racing to do, we’ve been seeing a LOT of him on TikTok. I can’t wait to see what he does in Austin. Red Bull admin better be ready. Go give @redbullracing a follow to support the world’s happiest honey badger!

6. Zandvoort is going to be a waste of time.

Remember when they brought back the Dutch Grand Prix in 2021? How we watched Max Verstappen go around in circles completely undisturbed? Remember how the same thing happened in 2022? There you have it folks - we’ve seen the 2023 Dutch Grand Prix already!

7. Toto Wolff and Frédéric Vasseur team up to shit on Christian Horner.

We saw the beginnings of this in Melbourne despite Fred saying he wanted nothing to do with the Toto-Christian drama. The real question is, will Mercedes change their fucking car?

8. Pierre’s IG dumps aren’t going to be fun

Unless Yuki’s in them. It hurts me to see the Estie Bestie-Gasly and Mr. Debris-Yuki duos instead. 

And the most important prediction,

9. Will Lando Norris get a girlfriend? 

The answer is yes. I volunteer as tribute.

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Ananya Anand is a current second-year student studying a Bachelor of Advanced Science degree. She’s a huge Formula 1 fan and is still in denial that Sebastian Vettel actually retired. His retirement video scarred her. Deeply. She’s also the biggest Carat you’ll meet and prays every day for Seventeen to come to Sydney while she’s here (delusional right).

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