Relationships and Loneliness

Young adulthood brings along many changes and many firsts, and for a lot of us, it means that our relationships morph and change, too, messing about with our sense of belonging.

This can feel a little overwhelming and isolating at times, especially if you’ve had to move for your studies. When you’re feeling this way, it can be tempting to go to uni purely to study and return home, overlooking the social side of things. But if it’s something you desire, with a little bit of courage, effort and trust in yourself, it’s possible to make things better. Read on to see what you can do to make more space for connection.

The Two Types of Loneliness

Transient Loneliness (short term)
This is something we can experience from time to time. Short term loneliness while undergoing a very stressful event or going through a relationship change is a normal response, but we can still do things to help ease it.

Chronic Loneliness (long term)
This is when the feeling of loneliness doesn’t go away for weeks at a time and starts eating into your daily life. It may cause you to feel other things such as a constant low mood, low self-esteem, poor sleep, increased anxiety and stress. The problem with this is the longer you feel this way, the more difficult it can be to break out of it, but by making little steps, it’s definitely possible.

Breaking the Loneliness Cycle

Have a look below at some small to big steps you can take to break the loneliness cycle. Ultimately, the first step is a slight mindset shift that you’re not doomed to feel alone forever. You deserve to fight for yourself and make change. There are people out there that would love to connect with and understand the great person that you are.

Reach Out
Is there someone in your life such as a relative or long-time friend who you can connect with? If you are battling with uncomfortable emotions or fear around making new friends, it can be beneficial to reach out and talk about it. We are social creatures and being vulnerable and honest with a person you trust can seem uncomfortable at first, but it can also can help you talk things out and put things in perspective.

Kindness to Yourself First
Often with loneliness, comes a feeling of fear and shame or not feeling good enough. Remember that you are worthy of love and belonging.

To help yourself feel better, make time to do these three things:
1. Find time to do an activity that you enjoy or inspires you
2. Take a moment to write down and remember your strengths
3. Celebrate the big and small wins, think of all the things you’ve done that you’re proud of yourself for to get you to where you are now

Getting to know yourself better can help you be more authentic, vulnerable and open with people you meet, which fosters connection.

Building Connections

One of the most important aspects of building connections is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability can seem scary at first, but it is a fundamental tool towards building true connections with others.

When you’re willing to make mistakes and let go of who you think you should be and remember that no one is perfect, including yourself, it can make it a little easier to have honest and open conversation.

Without a doubt, if you’re new to this, this process involves trial and error, but here are some mindset shifts you can practice throughout your day to ease into being more open for connection:

Mindset Closed for Connection vs Mindset Open for Connection

Mindset Closed for Connection	Mindset Open for Connection
I must never make mistakes	The more mishaps I make the more I learn about myself and others
Everyone here is better than me	No one is immune to feeling awkward or uncomfortable, we are in this together, we can laugh about it
I’m afraid this person will think I’m no good	How can I make this person feel comfortable?
I must uphold a certain image	Being completely honest with how I am will help me find people that truly appreciate me
Everyone must like me	It’s completely normal for myself and for other people to have preferences
I must have it all together all the time	Being honest about my struggles opens the door for others to do the same
I must become best friends with every person I talk to	Whatever happens, happens. Everyone has different life experiences and upbringings, it’s normal to have varying levels of connection with different people
I can’t voice my opinions; my thoughts and experiences don’t matter as much	It’s not that serious, I can act exactly how I feel in the moment. I can share my thoughts if I want to, and I can ask questions and listen if I want to
I don’t deserve friendship	I deserve love and kindness from other people, just as much as they deserve love and kindness from me

Activities on Campus

The reality is you may never feel 100% ready to dive into something new, but having some courage to go ahead and turn up can really pay off! Even though university can feel lonely, it is also the best hub for so many fun events, where you are bound to find people you connect with. Have a look at what you can do below.

The campus has a range of events that occur- ranging from info nights, night markets, performances, parties, networking opportunities, and faculty-based challenges. They can be fun and a great way to meet people.

Join A Club or Society Arc supports nearly 300 clubs and societies which provide you the opportunity to meet and interact with like-minded people. There’s a society for everything- no matter how niche your interests may be. By joining a club, you’ll be able to be a part of something and enhance your social life.

Volunteer Volunteering your time may be a great way to build connections, learn new skills and contribute something to your community. Each program focuses on different things with varying time commitments.

Play a Sport Socially or Competitively You don’t have to be an athletic superstar to take part – whether you like to compete or just try something new and play for fun, Arc has something for you.

Go on thrilling group excursions with Arc Goes To Organised by students, for students. Arc Goes to offers free and discounted trips ranging from trips to national parts to wine tours in the Hunter Valley.

Check out Art and Design Events If you have a curiosity or love for the creative, keep an eye out for art shows, events and volunteering opportunities available as part of the University's and Sydney’s art scene.

Check out Culture Café Whether you’re already from Sydney, an international student or it’s your semester abroad, everyone is welcome to Culture Café sessions to make new friends and feel welcome.

Join Wellness Warriors Care about student mental health and wellbeing? Learn valuable skills (such as mental health first aid), build connections with other volunteers and join us to help run activations and do wholesome and fun things for students to make campus a brighter and safer place for all!