We all have that one fandom where we truly put our money, time and energy where our mouth is. Maybe we’ve yelled at the TV when Australia was so close, yet so far, from our next Olympic medal. Maybe we’ve cried when that one song wasn’t played at the Taylor Swift concert. Maybe we’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time going through an influencer's page, imagining what life might be like to be them. While these interactions may look like they’re so seamlessly intertwined with our daily lives that they’re not worth batting an eye at, if any of them sound familiar to you, it’s more than likely you’ve unintentionally been a part of a parasocial relationship. 

Parasocial relationships are defined as nonreciprocal, socio-emotional connections with media figures. In other words, your brain seeks companionship, tricking you into believing there’s a real connection between you and someone who probably doesn’t know you exist. 

A new study found that 98% of young people regularly use at least one social media platform, we have to ask – can connections over the internet reshape our emotional landscapes? By providing personal fulfilment and being a source of escapism, can they change the way we view our real-life relationships? And if so, is it all good?

Research shows parasocial relationships can be used positively to find a sense of connection and support through difficult times. One woman told Time her crush on a celebrity helped her realise she was capable of having romantic feelings after the death of her husband had convinced her she would never experience that again. Parasocial relationships can also allow for positive modelling, where a public figure serves as a role model; for example, a fitness influencer might encourage you to start going to the gym. These relationships might give you a sense of community and belonging, like going through the Reddit page of your favourite fandom after a new season of the show comes out. 

In most cases, people only experience mild levels of parasocial bonding, which may have some of the benefits listed above. In the extreme, however, they can cause real issues. Let’s follow an example - if you watch interviews of an artist, you might appreciate understanding the backstory to their music. However, when this turns into hours spent investigating where they went to high school, what their siblings are up to and what brand of ice cream they love, we might have a bit of an issue. In the extreme, parasocial relationships might give you intense levels of grief, financial struggles and an inability to build meaningful connections in real life. 

So how do we make sure we stay at that “mild” level, having the benefits of parasocial relationships without going too far?

A Forbes article outlines three main ways. Number one, limit the attention you give to that person by acknowledging that they have carefully curated the version of themselves they show you; in other words, you don’t really know Taylor at all. Number two, try to taper your media consumption by setting digital boundaries (that means to block, unfollow and unsubscribe from anything that’s got you a little too hooked into it). And number three (get ready), work on your attachment style. Try to uncover patterns in your emotional responses and behaviours, identify your assumptions and seek to challenge them. Then, mindfully engage with the content (easier said than done!).

So there we go - now that you’ve got your parasocial relationships safety helmet on, you’re free to carry on indulging. I’m sure most of us can agree that real-life connections are far more exciting than anything through a screen, so make sure you take a break once in a while to experience the real thing.

Amrita is a fourth-year student studying a double degree in Law and Media (Communications and Journalism). In her spare time, you’ll likely find her brunching or shopping, matcha latte in hand.