Since joining Blitz, I have written articles about everything. From Daniel Riccardo to Married at First Sight, to Chicken Shops - I have seen it all. Yet, inspiration always manages to find a way to surprise me. My media degree—and the thousands of dollars in HECS debt it gifted me—have never worked harder than in writing this article.

The Instagram Account, UNSW Toilet Review, is “the original™ unsw toilet review”, providing ‘strictly factual toilet reviews for the masses since 2023’. And I was lucky enough to sit down with the admins of this account and ask the hard-hitting questions.

What compelled you to become a toilet influencer?

Look, it’s not as simple as waking up one day and deciding on this role. There are more than 800 toilets on campus, and it’s about giving all these toilets a voice. The masses deserve to know the answers about the best and worst toilets. We think of it as democratising information and bringing only the very best reviews to UNSW's student body (and beyond). We are very passionate about spreading awareness of the state and the availability of toilets around campus.

What is the most important part of a toilet review? Do you give bonus points for things like 'toilet art' or motivational graffiti?

All aspects of a toilet are important - every piece of the puzzle contributes to the overall experience of the bathroom. It’s impossible to say which facets are more significant; the toilet experience is naturally subjective. However, we do have a rubric (some examples include power of flush and quality of lighting), depending on each toilet's unique features. Then, we dock or add points accordingly. Toilet art and motivational graffiti definitely get points if they’re creative enough. I’m sure the scientists in our audience will be happy to know the toilet scoring process is quite methodical and standardised across all latrines.

Which toilet has been your favourite so far, and why? And have you noticed any improvements on campus facilities since starting the reviews?

All of us admins each have our personal favourites, but mine has to be Electrical Engineering Bathrooms on the second floor. The natural light is immaculate, plus the flush power and water pressure are spot on. The design is aesthetic and thoughtful. Truly UNSW’s crème de la crème. But the best toilet in Sydney that’s not on campus has to be on the ground floor of the Park Hyatt Hotel. Truly impeccable. You gotta go see it for yourself. Regarding toilet quality, some toilets used to be super nasty (like Patricia O’Shane), but the uni has upped its cleaning game. 

Have you ever been in a situation where someone caught you mid-review? What did they say?

Oh, not yet, but it’s almost happened. No one’s said anything so far, but there have been a few close calls 😳 We don’t film if someone is in the toilet for privacy, but it does get hard to get footage during peak toilet usage hours, so we tend to get content in the wee hours of the morning or later, when everyone’s gone home.

And finally, do you care to comment on imitator review accounts?? (cough cough, @unswtoiletreviews cough cough)

We respect their craft, but we all know who the OGs are 😎 Our admin team is actually looking for someone to take over this account! We’re graduating soon, so potential reviewers can send DMs our way. We are looking for someone with a passion for toilets and a penchant for making videos 🙏

Madeline Kahl is a student studying for a double degree in Commerce and Media. When she is not in Blitz land, you will most likely find her knee-deep in Pinterest planning outfits for her #eurosummer.