“I feel an obligation to show people new ideas”, Kanye resolutely declares in the aptly-titled ‘Ye vs. the People’, a song where he mounts his mission statement for a new and controversy-laden era beginning in 2018. One of those new “ain't goin’ against the grain everything I fought for?” ideas included him tweeting a picture of a MAGA hat signed personally by Donald Trump.

Being a Kanye fan has proved to be very challenging during the past few years. This isn’t surprising when my favourite rapper of all time has ignited headline after headline by saying that slavery was a choice, having an unsuccessful 2020 presidential campaign, and recently wearing a shirt saying ‘white lives matter’. I now try to hide my adoration for Kanye in conversations outside of music, in what appears to have become a requirement in asserting that I love his music and not his political views. 

This situation seems to be another addition to the larger discussion of whether there exists a valid way to love an artist who aligns themselves with racist, anti-Semitic, and white supremacist ideals. And if so... am I still allowed to love Kanye? 

Perhaps the conflict that we Kanye fans face in trying to defend our favourite artist stems from the fact that there absolutely is a lot to love about Kanye. Fan or not, it would be ignorant to argue against the fact that he is one of the most successful and influential multi-hyphenates of all time. He has the highest Grammy count of any hip-hop artist, one of the most popular clothing lines, and has taken a major stake in the artistic development of today’s elite musicians/performers of Drake, Travis Scott, and The Weeknd. 

For me, it’s something a little more personal. As cliché as it sounds, Kanye’s music has served as the background music of stressful and difficult moments in my life – the HSC exam period for me will forever be drenched in the combative orange of The Life of Pablo, and the pitch-black and claustrophobic cover of Donda which mirrored the everyday uncertainty and emptiness brought about by the multiple COVID-19 lockdowns.

But does Kanye’s multifaceted success as an influential musician, fashion designer, and businessman absolve his history of questionable behaviour? Even if he has, in the past, been such a positive force in the lives of many? In response, I question what makes Kanye deserving of special treatment. I don’t ask this as a casual listener who is merely fed up with all the headlines and controversies – I ask this as a long-time fan who has struggled to be proud of an artist who used to so creatively represent a part of me.  

To make it more complicated, one should also address the elephant in the room. In July 2020, Kanye’s ex-wife Kim Kardashian shared the news of Kanye’s diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Personally, my lack of technical knowledge and experience in the field of mental illness makes it inappropriate for me to comment on how Kanye’s mental illness may have affected his past and present actions, though it's something to be considered. While some have found it tricky to come to a definite answer, others do not see it as a reasonable excuse. Ultimately, this is something which you will need to decide on your own. 

To many, the self-destruction of Kanye’s legacy has been an exercise of maturity in being able to acknowledge the artist as independent from the person. To have blind faith in someone who you are nearly always witnessing from a screen without being cognisant of the harm they have done is an easy way out of a difficult conversation. For me, I have had to realise that criticism of Kanye is not a criticism of myself. Your favourite artist, like every other human to walk on planet Earth, deserves the criticism which they are due. 

So... am I still allowed to love Kanye? Right now, I’m unsure. But what I know is that it is important for me to be aware of what exactly I love about Kanye. To many of us, he is like an airbender who can creatively package themes of strength, faith, and unwavering confidence in a way which is both unique and fun. Yet, I can't just ignore the behaviour that an elite influencer like him is exhibiting day-by-day. 

Kanye’s music will forever continue to be my favourite music. But at the moment, I’ve decided that’s as far as I will go in loving him.