Indecision is not an unfamiliar thing. Even the most decisive of people are faced with decisions that render them lost. American composer, and all around egotistical legend, Oscar Levant perhaps says it best when he says, “Once I make up my mind, I am full of indecision”.
University makes us particularly reflective on this. The system is constructed on making decisions, which are generally deemed to impact THE REST OF YOUR LIFE *insert dramatic music.* It also makes us acutely aware of the progress, or lack thereof, of the people around us. Whilst this is more obvious in some faculties, there is a general consensus that you do not want to appear to be without ambition and without control of your goals. For the most part this boils down to make essential decisions about what you study and how you study it.
I began university life in a cohort of less than 50 people. Art Theory is notoriously small and its best that way. There is a palpable amount of freedom amongst us in regards to what we are doing and why we are doing it. Decisions can often be made based on passionate impulses rather than a logical rationale.
This creative sentiment is not echoed across campus however.
In deciding whether I would transfer into Law for my second year I made two lists. The first list was a more pragmatic approach to the decision, the second list was decidedly more obscure. The first reads like this;
PROS
1. The degree would challenge me in a way that Art does not
2. The degree would provide a wider avenue of employment prospects
3. The degree would foster my abilities to communicate in a more practical approach than art (NOTE: I am not sure I was right about this one)
CONS
1. The work load would be a significant increase, therefore restricting time available to work
2. There are a larger quantity of mandatory subjects, restricting my ability to chose Art classes
This list is inherently benign. It did not help me make this decision. In curing indecision, we often turn to what we think is the “right” choice. This is perhaps one of the greatest misconceptions in decision-making. Whilst there are reasons why you would pick one thing over another, this distinction does not have to occur for a reason that is perceived to be of a greater state of intelligence, or emotional maturity. We are university students and deciding anything can come from the most obscure places, as long as the conclusions we reach are not dangerous to our health and make us happy. This was more apparent in my second list;
PROS
1. If I get a job in law I am more likely to be able to afford a cheese shop when I retire
2. If I do really well in law I can also have a pet goat (Marvin) when I retire to the cheese shop
3. If I do even better in law I can wear a funny wig
4. The capes also seem cool
5. Reading and paperwork seem like a better idea than negotiating with difficult artist-types
CONS
1. Suits are boring
2. What if all the reading makes me lose my sight?
3. My feet get sore in heels
4. Apparently wine is a necessary negotiation device, I hate wine.
Whilst these reasons may seem facetious, I knew that these were going to be the bigger driving force in my musings on the change. Making decisions because of what others may think is a ridiculous notion is actually far more rewarding than being stuck in indecision limbo. And while I don’t get a great surge of pride in telling my first-year College neighbour that I didn’t chose law to help people, I chose it for a cheese shop and a goat, that is the honest answer.
And I know I’ll be much happier for the decision made for joy and food, than a decision not made at all.