(P.S.: Don’t worry, this is a spoiler-free opinion piece!)
In an era where love, fairytales, and magical connections are seemingly just a swipe or tap away (really?), Netflix's "Baby Reindeer" serves as a chilling and gruesome wake-up call. This autobiographical series, created by and starring Richard Gadd as the lead, isn't just another binge, it is a stark reminder of the various pitfalls lurking in our heavily hyperconnected world.
At the surface level, "Baby Reindeer" might seem like a typical stalker story for your weekend binge list. We have seen shows like 'You', where Joe Goldberg charms and creeps in equal proportions - it's essentially the predator's perspective that we get to witness.
But when you start peeling back the layers of 'Baby Reindeer', you'll find that it's an unrelenting mirror reflecting our society's increasingly complex relationship with technology, consent, and human connections.
It's Richard Gadd's brave survivor narrative that depicts the story of Donny, a struggling, trauma-ridden comedian whose life spirals out of control after a seemingly innocent encounter with Martha, who becomes his relentless stalker. One act of kindness and empathy comes at a major cost for Donny – not that you should stop being kind and empathetic (crying emojis!) but this tale warns you to be wary of people and their motives in general.
But here's the kicker: In today's world, where does persistent pursuit end and stalking begin? We live in an age where sliding into DMs is normalized, and "orbiting" (viewing someone's social media stories and posts without engaging and cutting off in-person ties and communication) is a recognized dating term. "Baby Reindeer" compels us to confront and address the uncomfortable, risky reality that the line between romantic interest and obsession has never been this blurry and bizarre.
I had the opportunity to interact with Raisa Annisa, a PhD student in the School of Social Sciences at UNSW, to explore the social themes of ‘Baby Reindeer’ in more depth. She states, "There are sadly, some consequences, big and small, for sharing your information and life online. But that does not give anyone the right to make you uncomfortable and disrupt your life. I strongly feel that there should be more digital literacy and awareness.”
On further deliberation with her, she does agree that “from a sociological perspective, the normalization of online "research" about potential partners (e.g., extensive social media browsing) impacts the development of healthy relationships and how it potentially redefines personal privacy.”
Think about it. How many of us have Googled a potential date or scrolled through their Instagram feed? In "Baby Reindeer," Martha's obsessive information gathering, and social media scouring feels familiar—it just takes 'excessive and extreme' to a whole new level. The show quite aptly highlights how our digital footprints can become breadcrumbs for those with ill intentions.
But it's not just about stalking. "Baby Reindeer" tackles the murky waters of consent in the digital age, where one must constantly remind oneself and others that consent isn't just about physical boundaries—it extends to our digital interactions too. And dealing with past trauma doesn’t make it any easier.
The series also sheds light on the double-edged, necessary evil kind of sword of social media. While platforms like Twitter and Instagram can be tools for connection, they can also become weapons in the wrong hands. Martha's incessant and disturbing messaging and emailing patterns showcase how easy it is for someone to invade our digital spaces and destroy our online experience, blurring the lines and limits between public and private life.
(Photo credits: LADbible)
What's truly unsettling about "Baby Reindeer" is how it exposes the vulnerability of our online personas, which eventually manifests into gnawing at our mental health. In an age where we are tempted to curate our lives for public perusal and some sort of validation and relevancy, the show asks: How well do we really know the people we interact with online? Each of the episodes compels us to contemplate how much of ourselves should we be sharing and exposing.
But "Baby Reindeer" isn't all doom and gloom. It's a call to action, urging us to reassess our digital habits, the way we choose to interact with people, how we cope with our traumas and triggers and the way we approach relationships in the age of social media. It reminds us that behind every profile picture and witty bio is a very real person, with real feelings and potentially dangerously real issues.
So, the next time you're about to send that third unanswered text or deep-dive into someone's social media history, remember "Baby Reindeer." It might just make you think twice about the digital footprints you're leaving behind and the boundaries you're crossing. The show also reminds us to NOT entertain and put up with any kind of harassment. In her concluding thoughts, Raissa tells me that people must reach out and get the necessary support and that “we have a lot of useful support services available on campus for all”.
In a world where love and danger can both be just a click away, "Baby Reindeer" isn't just a must-see — it's a much-needed eye-opener, especially for the teetering TikTok-Tinder generation.
If you are facing online/offline harassment or helping a friend deal with the same and looking to seek suitable support, find out more at unsw.to/speakup.
(Photo credits: Anushka Anchan)
